songs from within

look down upon me

2010-04-24T09:24:00.001-07:00

written December 31, 2010

Its times like these that I wonder if I will ever be able to breathe.

I need help from life itself. I need some kind of complete escape.

Somewhere not in this world, somewhere not of this mind

No matter the hurt, the pain, the suffering, its the tears from these eyes

Look down, look down upon me

What do you see in these eyes?

Look down, look down upon me

What can you see in these eyes?

The only thing that you can see within these eyes are unwanted tears

I only wish that I could stop them from free falling down this wretched face of mine

If there was someway or somehow to dis attach myself from this body and be free

You would no longer see the falling of tear drops on the side of the street

Look down, look down upon me

What do you see in these eyes?

Look down, look down upon me
What can you see in these eyes?

november

2010-04-24T09:23:00.001-07:00

written Thanksgiving Day 2010

This is a day of thanks and love; but where has my love gone?

On this day the people rejoice; but I just want to shut out the noise!

She has been taken before her time and all I'm left with is mine.

But my own life is left shattered. I lay here in the dirt broken and battered.

This is the November that I will never forget

This is the November that stays

I ask why? (Why did it have to be this way?)

I ask why? (Why has everything gone to shit?)

I'd give everything just to have you with me

I'd give everything just to see you here

I'd give everything just to have us again be

I'd give everything just to hold you near

Even though I give it all away, I still can't see you at the end of the day.

If I could, though, I would tell you that I love you and always will too.

The days will get easier for me, but the pain without you will always be.

One last thing before you go – I love you! I miss you! Goodbye …

worlds

2010-04-24T09:22:00.001-07:00

written January 9, 2010

I was born of the alcoholics, drug addicts, and accidentalists;

But I forced my way through it.

I force my way through the seams of their world.

I was raised of the preachers, brain washers, and conservatives;

But I forced my way through it

I force my way through the seams of their world.

Take your drugs of choice and pray to the gods you believe in.

Raise your false voices and hide from the world your deceiving.

On this night, the finale begins.

On this day, your world ends.
On this night, the deception remains.
On this day, this world ends.

I grew old of the practitionars, hypocrites, and blind;

But I forced my way through it.

I force my way through the seams of their world.

I now die of the strong, free willed, and smart minds;

But I forced my way through it

I force my way through the seams of their world.

Take your drugs of choice and pray to the gods you believe in.

Raise your false voices and hide from the world your deceiving.

On this night, the finale begins.

On this day, your world ends.
On this night, the deception remains.

On this day, this world ends.

The World Ends

I Need The Worlds End

I've been running this life for too long

It's time for change, a new song

Things go from up to down to up to down

And now it's about time for that new sound

The old die off and the young take control

The time has come for this world to blow

New ideals, new gods, new world

The old will now become buried

On this night, the finale begins.

On this day, your world ends.
On this night, the deception remains.
On this day, this world ends.

you're not here

2010-04-24T09:21:00.001-07:00

written February 12, 2010

this is how it's gonna be …

i'm gonna tell you how it is / living alone and minding my biz / wondering about the one i miss / wanting that kiss / damn, things aren't great / and you def can't relate / things here are overated / as i have demonstrated / it ain't easy being a waegook / when every step they look / at me as if i took / everything from them, rook / so i walk these streets / coming up with beats / cause i'm not good enough for a seat / reapply and repeat / so i walk these streets / coming up with beats / cause i'm no good for a seat / in this bloody heat / labelling me as a threat / but ya know i bet / if they took the time and met / some of us they'd let / us live her in peace / and the war would cease

this is how it is in a passive aggressive country.
everyday is a secret war. if you were here, you'd see.
but you're not here. you're not here with me.
so i don't expect you to understand. to see.

let's get to the real deal / you aren't here / and it may appear / that i'm alright, dear / but i'm not ok, you aren't near / so see, dear / the way i appear / is an elaborate plan here / to make you want me / to make you near / so hear me / when i say that, dear / it's probably better to stay clear / of me / of this place / of here

this is how it is in a passive aggressive country.
everyday is a secret war. if you were here, you'd see.
but you're not here. you're not here with me.
so i don't expect you to understand. to see.

you are mine

2010-04-24T09:06:00.001-07:00

written in february 2010

hey girl, you no longer need to worry, i'll get you through this. but you gotta know, i'm sorry for the things that've happened to you. but i'm gonna do what i can to adore you.

with them chocolate brown eyes, i can see the hope in them. don't worry girl, i'm here to put an end to it.

let me in your heart. let me in your mind. then we'll never part because you are mine.

my girl, i see you're holding my hand. i hope this means you trust me now. 'cause you can just lay there now, let me do all the work. i'll listen to ya and protect ya from the cold.

with them chocolate brown eyes, i can see the hope in them. don't worry girl, i'm here to put an end to it.

let me in your heart. let me in your mind. then we'll never part because you are mine.

moments

2010-04-24T09:00:00.001-07:00

written on the beaches of Destin, FL

Moments like these
I go right to my knees
Look at the beautiful sky
Open your eyes
I don't know how I overlooked
This creation, now I'm shook
I don't understand my being sometimes
But this blows my mind

The moment of the day
Where I have found my way
The moment of the day
Oh please let's stay

Met some girls, they were nice
Very petite in size
The beaches are so gorgeous
Some thought the same of us
Just running around everywhere
Hanging out without a care
We don't want to leave this place
We'll be back in God's grace

The moment of the day
Where I have found my way
The moment of the day
Oh please let's stay

beautiful truth

2010-04-24T08:57:00.001-07:00

written when i was 18

Moments ago my life severely changed. Everything that I thought I couldn't attain has been put right in front of my face. It's overwhelming to keep sane.

Beautiful truth comes in the evening glow. As the moon flies high, the answers you are told.

Have you ever had a stranger tell you all the answers to the questions about your life? Many years have passed and I didn't know who I came from until I met you.

And overwhelmed, I cried my eyes out. Thanking you for giving me this chance. And overwhelmed, I pray to you. Screaming out of relief.

Beautiful truth comes in the evening glow. As the moon flies high, the answers you are told.

lost

2010-04-24T08:54:00.001-07:00

written when i was only 15

It's a summer dream / Ya know what I mean / I just wanna be seen with you. / Lay across my chest / Go ahead and rest / I just wanna give you the best. / Cause I'm lost without you and I don't know what to do without you by my side. / And I don't know what to say 'cause I love every way that you look at me. / Through sickness and health / Poor of with wealth / I love you now and always. / From rise to fall / I'll give you all that I ever can. / Cause I'm lost without you and I don't know what to do without you by my side. / And I don't know what to say 'cause I love every way that you look at me.

blacklight blindness

2010-04-24T08:50:00.001-07:00

Written September 23rd, 2008

Waking up in the middle of the world.

Dirt and dust, there is nothing that I see.

The sun is hot and burning this body.

Will I get up and begin to be?

Looking out into the depth of the sky,

Black and light is all that I see.

Or is that me just being naive?

Will I open up and begin to be?

Life is so short compared to the old.

We need to open our minds so we can know

The answers to all the questions of life.

Who determines your beliefs?

Ignorance has taken over this place.

We follow those and believe what they say.

Blindness is the worst foundation.

Will I think and begin to be?

Stand up, What do you believe?

wait

2010-04-24T08:49:00.003-07:00

Written September 17th, 2008

When the lights go down and you begin to sing,

I wanna feel the feelings that you hide within.

Dance for me as you tell that story.

The story of passion.

Do what you wish. I support that.

Just know that I want more.

But I'll sit here and wait.

Waiting for that something

That I've dreamed of since a little boy.

Pretend to be those people.

Read the script and dance to the beat.

I'll be sitting there in the crowd

Waiting for that something more.

I know it hasn't been long since the day we met;

But I feel if we do this right, it could be different.

The different you hear about in the stories you act.

The passion that I feel I could one day have for you.

oceans apart

2010-04-24T08:49:00.001-07:00

Written October 6th, 2008

Everything in this world can be seen new

Things have changed and been made whole

As time passes by, these little moments will smile

Life is now beginning and the love we share

Will be our refuge, our home, our safe haven

Things will get harder and the time will be slow

But the sea is only so large. Our love is stronger.

With an ocean between us, every moment is for you

Time is only a moment in life. A life built with you

I just ask that we don't lose that feeling, that love

Please don't hesitate, don't look away

Moments pass as I'm in this distant place

Those moments I count down for you

I know that when I see you once again

We will share those fireworks that we saw

That day when we were young. That day

The one were I looked deep in your eyes

And knew who we were supposed to become

With an ocean between us, every moment is for you

Time is only a moment in life. A life built with you

I just ask that we don't lose that feeling, that love

Please don't hesitate, don't look away

Take this song and remember those memories

Sing to the life that we have created

an escape

2010-04-24T08:42:00.001-07:00

Rain falling between you and I as if separating foreshown.

Believe me when I say I love you but the space has grown

Between us is a hurdle of insanity and lies

Between us is selfishness and unwanted whys

Looking through the glass mirror shattered in the road

Nowhere I go can I escape the torment of the other

Living everyday knowing the brokenness you created

Wondering if you would admit to me your secret I waited

But longing for a new union falls close to stupidity

All I wanted was repentance and you could have saved me

Looking through the glass mirror shattered in the road

Nowhere I go can I escape the torment of the other

I run faster towards the edge and enjoy the rain stab me cold

Jumping that hurdle of insanity because of a lost lover